From the Desk of Father Nathan | August 30, 2020
A Message from Father Nathan
My dearest people who are all close to my heart!
God bless you all and I keep you in my prayers.
Love and lots of prayers to you.
These days, I feel and have gotten to know lots of people who feel LONELY. I feel that it pains them, and they are not happy about it.
Eventually, this kind of sentiments leads to many other issues like depression, addictions, and many more….
I thought I would try to attend this. I am for being LONELY. It paves way for so many wonderful things for ourselves, others and God.
God, you have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16:20
Loneliness is a Gift Use it Wisely
God gave us loneliness so we would seek out relationships. Loneliness is a feeling that speaks to our deep hunger to belong and be known. We are often embarrassed or ashamed, or we believe there’s something wrong with us for experiencing loneliness. In truth, loneliness is the gift that speaks to how much is right with us while also pointing to how much has gone wrong.
Because of loneliness, we inescapably desire relationships with ourselves, others, and God.
Loneliness also points to how often we distance ourselves from all three vital forms of relationship.
Relationship with Self
Acknowledging loneliness allows me to see my heart and begin to know myself. It also allows me to see the hearts of others, and others see my heart. This vulnerability is the foundation or intimate relationship. At the same time, loneliness exposes pain because it expressed how much I need what I hunger for.
Loneliness often speaks to our need to stop activities in order to give ourselves a chance to hear our hearts and listen to what they are saying, sometimes waiting to get clarity. We do this by stopping, listening, waiting, resting, planting, and trusting. We need to rest for the heart to regain strength, replenish hope, and prepare for the next step.
We need to plant, tending to the seeds of desires, needs, longings, and hope within us. And we need to trust that we are emotional and spiritual creatures who need time for the world’s incessant urban clanging. Valuing our loneliness through solitude does not necessarily lead to serenity.
Sometimes we learn in loneliness to put our sword and shield down and cry our guts out about the battles we’ve waged and lost dreams and hopes not fulfilled, friends missed, intimacies not honored, opportunities not taken, and struggles with God not seen through. But by struggling in solitude, we eventually rekindle the passion that led us into battle in the first place.
Relationship with Others
Another expression of loneliness identifies our hunger for the intimacy of community.
“Will you be with me?”
“Can we spend time together?”
“Can you listen to my pain?”
“Will you pray for me?”
“Will you stand up for me?”
Loneliness pushes me to seek to be known.
There’s a limit to how long we can stand around others without being known. For instance, have you ever been to a dinner party where you don’t really know the people? You mingle, smile, eat, visit, but you can’t wait to get home and spend time with your spouse, your children, or your friends.
You want to be where you can put your elbows on the table and just talk and laugh. The people who know you already accept you as you are, so you leave that situation highly replenished.
Even if you are at a banquet as the recipient of an award, you may be more replenished by eating with your buddies that you would be by receiving a coveted prize. Loneliness aroused emotion and spiritual hunger to be received, known, and loved by another. It is a hunger to be accepted as we are.
If we are accepted and enjoyed for who we truly are, then we cannot help but find replenishment. We will likewise be filled emotionally and spiritually. We will be compelled to share our passion for life and do good things through relationships with others.
We shall reflect upon the relationship with God next week.
Thank you
– With lots of love and blessing,
Ever at your service.
—Fr. Sahayanathan Nathan
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From The Desk Of Father Nathan | August 27, 2023
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